


To Be An Ocean

by ABCece



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Changkyun is so sad, Comfort, Emotional Sex, Fluffy, M/M, Okay so its smut but thats not the focus, the focus is all the emotions and stuff, there is no plot here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 21:53:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17333036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABCece/pseuds/ABCece
Summary: Changkyun didn't know why he cried so much. Didn't know why he was cursed with oceans pressed behind his eyes. The pressure of the waves hurt.***Hyungwon makes Changkyun feel better whenever he starts to feel hopeless.





	To Be An Ocean

Sometimes the softness of his own skin astounded him. How smoothly Hyungwon’s fingers glided over his cheeks to wipe the tears away, to kiss the buds of damp clinging to his eyelashes before they fell and bloomed on his cheeks. Sometimes Hyungwon said his cheeks felt like ceramics before the kiln. That powdery sort of smooth, the kind that lingers in the ridges of a fingerprint. He would squeeze his cheeks in an attempt to mould him. Keep the tears trapped in welled brown eyes.

Changkyun thought it was a blessing to be a pretty cryer. But that didn’t help the feeling. Didn’t help that horrible tightness in his throat or that sting in his sinuses. The only thing that helped was Hyungwon. Hyungwon and his fingers and his lips and his words that resonated like music. _It’s okay to cry. Be honest with yourself. You’re so beautiful when you’re sad._

And Changkyun longed to forget. And he longed for the feeling of Hyungwon’s fingers on his smooth smooth skin. 

_Make me feel good again._

Hyungwon didn’t taste of salt, despite kissing away the coves blurring Changkyun’s eyes. Hyungwon tasted like aloe lip balm and coffee and whatever chips he’d just been eating. His body encompassed, surrounded, made Changkyun feel small and it felt so good. So good, to be small and enveloped like that. To have one of Hyungwon’s hands grazing up his side only to stop and skim over the bumped flesh of his ribcage. To have Hyungwon’s leg pressed firmly between his own, knee bucking against his groin. And Hyungwon kept leaning up to kiss his eyes so the tears never fell. But his lips still didn’t taste like oceans. He tasted like aloe. Coffee. Chips.

He worried sometimes that the softness of his skin would mean his tear tracks left gutters down his face, like repeated rain down soft limestone. He told Hyungwon once, as he cried into his knees, and since then Hyungwon hadn’t let the tears fall. Before their first kiss he’d wipe them away with a neatly folded corner of tissue. After, it was all fingers and lips and the wodged up corners of his jumper sleeves. It was unspoken, this thing, but they both knew Hyungwon would never let the oceans roll down Changkyun’s cheeks.

Changkyun knew he had more than a sea-full to cry. Knew Hyungwon’s sleeves had probably absorbed a reservoir by now. He tried to kiss the salt from Hyungwon’s lips so they didn’t chap but even he knew that was a flimsy excuse. Because Hyungwon’s lips were never chapped. They tasted like aloe lip balm.

He undid the buttons of his own shirt just to feel Hyungwon’s hands on him more. Pushed his hands to his chest and arched at the contact.  _Please make me feel good again_ echoed breathlessly into damp hair and damp skin and damp lips. And Changkyun worried it was his torrent that was the cause until his lips caught on the patch of raspberry shampoo Hyungwon had missed when washing his hair.

Hyungwon’s knee pressed up against him again and he choked on the heaviness in his throat. _So Good._ He circled Changkyun’s budding pink nipple almost lazily and it was so overwhelming and so so good. Like numbness in cold water. Hyungwon knew how to touch him but he never ducked his head. Would only drop to his neck or collarbone before pulling back up to check the coves in his eyes. They were brown and glistening and astonishing. Hyungwon thought Changkyun’s eyes looked like wishing wells when he cried.

It wasn’t graceful, how Changkyun pulled Hyungwon’s hand down the front of his pants, straight into his boxers, wrapped Hyungwon’s long lean fingers around his length and encouraged him to move. Hyungwon didn’t object though. Smiled into the hollow of his collarbone and sucked there as his thumb teased Changkyun’s slit. Just a soft back and forth but to Changkyun it felt like a tide thundering over his body. A barely there swipe of the pad of his thumb but also a thunderstorm. 

He kissed away the tears again that Changkyun hadn’t even been aware were about to fall. _I’ve got you. You feel this. You feel me. I’ve got you, Changkyun._

And his grip tightened. Changkyun pressed his mouth into the line of Hyungwon’s jaw to keep from moaning, though his body squirmed with overwhelming pleasure and his soft, ceramic skin was painted with harsh goosebumps. His arms, that he’d wrapped around Hyungwon’s neck, a long horizon of raised hairs. His cold breath sticking to the damp strands of Hyungwon’s hair.

Hyungwon’s hand wasn’t moving fast, because nothing Hyungwon did was fast. Everything deliberate and addictive. His grip loosened every time he reached the head, to ghost over Changkyun’s tip and leave him gasping. His strokes were long and slow and Changkyun rolled into each one, hips lifting off the soft couch to meet the shell of Hyungwon's fist. Hyungwon’s breathing was heavy and stuttering in Changkyun’s hair and Changkyun could feel the outline of him pressed against his stomach, twitching with every new touch he trailed down his neck. But when Changkyun tried to move to relieve him he pulled back and smiled, wiping one eye with a thumb.  _This is about you._

They kissed again and Changkyun thought the chips Hyungwon had just eaten must’ve been BBQ. Their tongues slid together naturally, soft like Hyungwon was the beach and Changkyun was the rolling waves. And Hyungwon knotted one hand into Changkyun’s hair as their spit slick mouths parted so he could look into those sad brown eyes again. 

Changkyun looked glazed; a gentle, hiccupping breath tumbling from his mouth on every outward breath, his pink lips parted and his eyes unfocussed. He had a hand clasped to Hyungwon’s in his boxers. An encouraging rub of a thumb against the vein of Hyungwon’s wrist as Hyungwon continued to stroke him.

_How do I look?_

_Beautiful. So beautiful. Always beautiful._

The words were quiet and breathy, lost against skin and lips. 

Changkyun had lost any sense of rhythm, the rolling of his hips had depressed to staggering, jolted twitches and his head was aching so far back that the skin of his neck looked taut. Hyungwon licked a stripe up the centre of the long stretch, slowing over the bump of his Adam’s apple, before pecking a kiss to the tip of his chin.

_Look at me, Changkyun._

Changkyun came when their eyes met. Ungraceful and quiet and all over Hyungwon’s hand. Hyungwon smiled wide. The type that crinkled his eyes and made his cheeks round like dumplings. He kissed each of Changkyun’s eyes but no tears were blurring them anymore, he smiled back. Small but something. 

Changkyun didn’t know why he cried so much. Didn’t know why he was cursed with oceans pressed behind his eyes. The pressure of the waves hurt. But when Hyungwon touched him he didn’t feel big like an ocean, he felt like a wishing well. Was never fixed by his touch, but there was something infinitely more hopeful there.

‘Thank you,’ he said.

‘You’re welcome, Changkyun.’

**Author's Note:**

> This is only a small thing I wrote on the spur of the moment because I got all in my feelings and needed a way to get it out. If you like Hyungkyun though, I'm also writing a three part Hyungkyun thing called 'I Can Talk With Flowers' that's kinda cute and you might maybe like maybe? Part one is uploaded already. Wow shameless plug I am so sorry please love me <3.


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